PART I: THE BACK STORY
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"In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team."
PART II: THE CHARACTERS
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Templeton "Faceman" Peck (A.K.A. "Face"): The good looking ladies' man. Can talk his way out of (or in to) anything.
"Hannibal" Smith: The older, cigar-smoking leader. Always has "a plan."
H.M. Murdock: The crazy goon who actually lives in a nut house.
B.A. Barracus: "The muscle." B.A. is short for "Bad Attitude."
The girl: There's always some girl who is usually a reporter who helps the A-team find people in need and keep them out of the media spotlight.
PART III: THE FORMULA
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Every episode of the A-team follows a strikingly similar formula. Whether the writers actually used a written cheat sheet, or if the similarities were pure coincidence is unkown. The fact is, as a kid, I loved the show, but watching it now is akin to listening to a broken record. Circle and I recently rented a few seasons, and are now thoroughly burned out. In order to vent, here is our analysis of the "A-team formula."
A. Every episode starts out with Hannibal in some silly disguise. He does this to "filter out" the serious seekers of the A-team from those who don't really need them. I guess, if the people are willing to jump through enough hoops, then they're "worthy" of the A-team's valuable time. The sad thing is that, when Hannibal reveals himself, they always play a jaunty reprise of the A-team theme like they're "revealing" something to the audience. "Hey that broad shouldered woman with white hair, crappy makeup, smoking a cigar was HANNIBAL the whole darn time! Holy Mackarel!"
B. The A-team takes on the case of someone who has been unjustly persecuted, but they're such good guys, they do it pro-bono. Hey, they must make a great living as ex-cons living in the "Los Angeles underground" to be able to go on these expensive adventures for free. This scene inevitably ends with the words "You've just hired the A-team!" Kind of ironic since there's no money involved in the "hiring."
C. Since Murdock lives in the insane asylum, Face is always sent to somehow break him out, usually by pretending to be a doctor and then duping the ditzy nurse on duty.
D. Because the trip requires flying to some exotic location, and B.A. (Mr. T) hates flying, the A-team must dupe B.A. into taking some knockout drugs for the flight. This usually occurs through tricking B.A. into drinking spiked milk (B.A. loves milk, he's sure to make that clear whenever there's milk on set), but variations include eating a spiked hamburger, being hypnotized, or a long scary-looking needle jammed into B.A.'s neck while he's distracted.
E. Introduce the requisite "Hotty." This is Face's love interest throughout the show and provides sexual tension, but they never actually hook up. A variation on this is to introduce some little kids that B.A. is super nice to. The irony comes from thinking that a man that is so notoriously bad and grumpy to every other person in the world, is so kind and caring with little children...it ends up seeming a little creepy when B.A. says "don't worry little Timmy, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you-o-o."
F. 1st Confrontation with the "bad guys." This always involves lots of shooting at the ground with giant machine guns, hand-to-hand fighting with ridiculously obvious stunt men (it's great fun to pause your DVD during any scene with a stunt-man). In 90% of the fight scenes, B.A. is not present until Hannibal is cornered, then he breaks through a wall, or comes through a curtain at just the right moment to decimate the 5 men that were about to jump Hannibal. Often, one of the men will get a direct hard punch on B.A.'s face, but B.A. will be un-phased, then grab the guy and throw him completely over his head. The best part about the throws is that the camera always cuts to a new angle so that the stunt man can jump off of a mini-trampoline to make it appear that B.A. has the super-hero strength necessary to throw a grown man completely over his head. ALWAYS WATCH FOR B.A.'S TRAMPOLINE THROW!
G. The A-team is defeated. Yes, the A-team's initial confrontation is always stymied. They retreat so Hannibal can form his famous plan, and so there can be some comic relief as Murdock acts insane and B.A. can't stand it. "Ha ha, B.A. is so grumpy!"
H. The Tank! B.A. is a skilled mechanical engineer and can turn any heap of supplies that are lying around into a tank. This part of the episode always puts the A-team theme music into some cool re-mix, usually relating to the environment they're in, and just plays over images of B.A. leading the team in constructing this ridiculously tough tank. The best tank, in my opinion, was built when the A-team was at a lumber mill. B.A. built the entire thing out of wood, including a working cannon!
I. The Final Showdown. More shooting/explosions without hitting anything or anyone. The A-team uses the tank for approximately 30 seconds, then discard it forever. There's some kind of chase scene, and one of the bad guys' vehicles goes off a cleverly concealed ramp completely flipping it over. Apparently no killing/die-ing was allowed on prime time back then because they always cut back to a scene of the men that were driving the flipped over car carefully climbing out of the wreckage without permanent damage. If there's no footage of the men climbing out (ie: the stuntmen were actually KILLED in the wreck), then in the editing process they'll dub a couple voices over the image of the flaming heap along the lines of "Hey Bill! You ok?"..."Yeah Max, I'm fine."
J. Hannibal says his "catch phrase" - "I love it when a plan comes together."
K. Final freeze frame of Murdock doing something crazy, and/or B.A. with a sour look on his face. "Oh that Murdock!!!"
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